Worst Jokes Ever
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?
Because they don't have homes.
I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
Ryan, I laid out more jokes than you have crying about me!
Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.
Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!
Yo mama so fat, Donald Trump built a wall around her.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one ducted.
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
Yo mama so fat, I couldn't see the store.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.
Yo mama so ugly Donald Trump said "wrong!"
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.