Worst Jokes Ever

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”

Patient: “Give me the good news first.”

Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”

Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”

Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”

Why did the grandpa leave the house to go to the grocery store?

To get the ice cream for the grandma.

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

You caught a Penaldo!

Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears.

Type: Ghost type.

Moves: Dive

Disappear in big games

Cry for pens

Statpad vs farmers

Sells underwear

What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

Me: I will rape you!

Woman: NOOOOOO!!! I AM TOO SCARED TO GET "RAPED"!

Why do women be like this?

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!

What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.

Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.

How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

I was digging in my backyard and found a chest of coins. I wanted to run inside and tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging in the backyard.

A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

Heard the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"