Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone?
He got hit by a train.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Did you hear about the baseball game between America and Ethiopia?
America - 8
Ethiopia - didn't.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
Your Nan is dead.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
My biggest joke: I’d show you, but I don’t have a mirror to show you.
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Q: Why can you be rude to an orphan?
A: Because who are they gonna tell their parents?
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
Why can’t the orphan tell on people?
Because they got no mom and dad! LOLLL
I'm emo, by the way.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
What thing can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
What is the worst thing to do at a funeral?
The corpse.