Worst Jokes Ever

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

What do emo kids and apples have in common?

They both hang off trees.

Kid: Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?

Kid 2: Why?

Kid: 'Cause it's as short as your dick.

What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.

Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.

Daddy, harder!

What do emo kids and bananas have in common?

They both hang on trees.

Your hairline is so long that when I put it on email, it didn't send, which is ETHAN BRIDEWATER.

I'm sorry, but your dad left for milk.

Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?

Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.

Son: Thanks, Dad.

Dad: No problem, Quarantine.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq... They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

What do eggs like doing on stage?

Cracking jokes!

I don't see why people say that emo kids don't like to hang out.

I've seen them hanging all day.

How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?

Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.

For orphans, every bag of chips is family sized.

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