Worst Jokes Ever
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.
Why are school shootings branded “very American”?
1. They usually happen in the USA.
2. They’re like the Fourth of July: there’s a lot of loud banging and kids screaming.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Stranger: Tries to kidnap a kid.
Kid: Runs home.
A few minutes later, the kid was in the back of the van...
If you know, you know.
Like if you are emo.
Yo mama so fat when she stepped on a monster truck she turned it into a lowrider.
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
Like if you are gay.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.