Worst Jokes Ever
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
An orphan, an emo, and an apple are on a tree. The apples get picked unlike the orphan, while the emo kid is already dead from hanging.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
Neither has he.
That's wheely (really) sad.
Why did Jesus play football?
He was Spanish, ayo.
Why does an orphan go to church? So they can call someone father and be loved.
What do you call getting assaulted by a gay man? Fruit punch.
When orphans drink milk, they cry.
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
What did the Emo and the Orphan have in common?
They both hang with the trees.
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Cocomelon.
What's an orphan's favorite flower?
Self-raising flour.
What do you call a Mexican door?
Dora.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
Why can't you trust the atom? 'Cause they make up everything.