What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a bar. The man says, "Why the human face?" It's not funny at all.
You're an alcoholic!
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Hide and seek.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
Yo mama is so fat that Naruto couldn't make enough shadow clones to surround her.
You know you're high when you hold all your pineapples hostage and yell, "SpongeBob, I know you're in there!"
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
I HATE URANUS! I WANNA KICK IT!
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.
I'm scared that it moves at night.
I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
Wiener.
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
What's the second hardest thing in the morning?
The first hardest thing. 🍆
There were three women, one was curvy in all the right places, one was skinny but had a booty on her, and last but not least there’s one that has a BBL. Then comes in a famous rapper, guess which one he picked???
What's life if you don't have one...
