Worst Jokes Ever
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
Deez nuts!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦♂️
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!