Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?

If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.

My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

Me: So tell me about it then.

My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

Me: My bad again. Do continue.

My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

My cousin: By the game.

Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

Because he was arrested on suspicion of murder.

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.

What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?

None of them get picked.