Worst Jokes Ever

Your mom and your dad.

Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Niguh.

Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"

Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"

I hate salmonella.

It is such a pain in the butt.

Boobies!

"Morbius" is a bad movie (jokey).

Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.

My little brother is scared of ghosts so I won't let him watch Bayern today.

Okay, I may be strict, but I won't let Tapindowski give my son a heart attack. His shocking ghosting performance today is a danger to my family and I'll ask UEFA to investigate the matter.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"

I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.

That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!

My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.

I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.

Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.

How do you know an abo robbed your house?

The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.

abcdefgjiowqdou;rwohieugrhiosrvhionovruohwu.

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?

Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.

What do orphans go to church for?

So they can call someone "father."

You are so hairy, Bigfoot took your picture!