Worst Jokes Ever
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
Like if you are gay.
A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.
The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
You know that I drink water, right? I drink water because I am water. Water is water.
Why did the stairs move?
Because it was up to something!
Elementary school kids: School is fun.
Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.
What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.
These girls were bullying a kid. I asked if they were raping him. They stopped.
If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?
I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
Why did the chicken nugget cross the road?
To get cooked by KFC.