Worst Jokes Ever
What types of erections do skeletons have? Boners.
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.
Why can't orphans eat chips?
'Cause they're family sized!
What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?
Motherboard.
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.