Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Worst Jokes Ever
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?
What can't an orphan spell?
Home.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
Deez nuts!
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Segma says, "32!"
Ligma Says, "And?"
Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.
