My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
Worst Jokes Ever
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
What does a priest and a clown have in common?
They both make children cry.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What's tree + tree?
Sticks! (Three + three = six)
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they couldn't run home.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
What can't you say to an emo?
Hang in there, buddy!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
'Cause they don't got balls to scratch.
Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!
So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.
Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.
Anyways, she cried lol.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
The weirdest thing happened to me today. I was driving 50 mph and hit a speed bump and it screamed!
