Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, LOL.
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home plate.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Who is buried in the tomb of Alexander the Grape?
Alexander the raisin.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Yo mama is so old, she is the founder of the pyramid of Egypt.
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at, but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
Memories: I have ligma.
Ligma what?
Ligma balls.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
