Worst Jokes Ever
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
9/11 is not funny. It's just plane disrespectful to make fun of it.
Not sure if the Twin Towers were destroyed or if they were just purposely demolished. 🖐️😀
What did the plane say to the Twin Towers?
"Open wide, here comes the airplane!" 💀👌
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?
You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.
What did the janitor think when he was mopping the 101st floor?
The 102nd.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
Spell "I cup." It's funny.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like they're going to tell their parents.
Depression sucks, and so do you.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.