Worst Jokes Ever
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
What do Priests and School shooters have in common?
They both blast little kids in the face.
What is a necrophile's least favorite game?
The Walking Dead.
I bought my son a trampoline. That little a**hole stayed in his wheelchair the whole day.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
I respect woman’s choices... either she wants to cook first, then clean, or she wants to clean first, then cook.
I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
Yo hairline so far back, it oversaw the creation of the earth!
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
You know what an emo gets for his birthday? A rope.
You're just big and good.
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Your mama so fat, the scale said, "Only one person at a time, please!"
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.