Worst Jokes Ever
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
Why do orphans eat cereal with milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is an orphan's favorite No Way Home?
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.
Why are all orphans criminals?
Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
What do gay guys and priests have in common?
They are both gay in their own ways.
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Like if you know an orphan.
Where’s the English Channel?
Johnny: “I don’t know. My television doesn’t pick it up.”
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
What do you call an artist who couldn't make it as Hitler?
Orphans are the best people to bully. They have no parents.
I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said "Spiderman: No Way Home." I said, "Probably because it's so relatable, right?" He started crying. I don't know why.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.