Worst Jokes Ever

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.

Do emos eat...

Happy meals?

My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Hi... I'm depressed.

NASA found water on Mars.

Mars - 1

Africa - 0

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Why can't orphans be criminals?

Because they're not wanted.

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

An autistic kid.

Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:

You) I 1 poopoo

(Them) I 2 poopoo

(You) I 3 poopoo

(Them) I 4 poopoo

(You) I 5 poopoo

(Them) I 6 poopoo

(You) I 7 poopoo

(Them) I 8 poopoo

And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”

Y'all need to add more jokes.

I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can’t see their parents.

So I went up to a crying kid and asked, "Where's your mommy?"

God, I love working at an orphanage.

Why did the orphan become a criminal? It wants to be wanted.

What did the hooker say when she found out the cash she was paid with for services rendered was counterfeit?

I've been raped!

What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?

A BUNny.