Worst Jokes Ever

What starts with a P and ends in S? (hint: men have it and women want it). Pockets.

I told a joke about miscarriage to a group of women, but none of them laughed.

I guess it was a bad delivery.

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple has a family tree.

Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?

Can you f**k out of here?

Karen says:

What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?

A family picture.

What do you call a cow that can't milk?

A failure!

Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!

Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.

Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?

Your face looks like my butt, but it looks like you.

Your butt is bigger than my ex-girlfriend's butt, and I love it!

Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?

A: It gets pooped out of the bag.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.

Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!

What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?

Your forehead is so big that I can’t even see your hairline, and your stupid forehead face.

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

I bet your hairline goes inside your private part, and your girlfriend can’t even touch it.

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

I always ask gay people what LGBTQ means, but I never get a straight answer.