I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
Worst Jokes Ever
Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
What should orphans do when their parents aren’t there? The usual.
When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Q: Why do orphans love boomerangs?
A: Because they actually come back.
How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no.
Emos are dark people....
...So why are they all white?
Goths are even darker...
SO WHY ARE THEY WHITER!?
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist fuck!
I gave a gun to a blind person and told them it was a hair dryer.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they can’t get their parents’ permission.
Everyone put your age here.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Two wrongs don't make a white.
Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day when suddenly Johnny said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna throw up!"
Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there."
Johnny comes back a minute later, and his mom asks, "Did you make it?" Then Johnny said, "No, but there was a box by the door that SAID 'For The Sick!'"
