I cried when Dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Worst Jokes Ever
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
"I'm an orphan."
"I didn't ask."
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
I told a crying kid to wipe his tears and come back smiling.
He never came back the next day, says the local news.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
I love making jokes about orphans!
What are they going to do, tell their parents?
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.
Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)
Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.
I guess the queen ran out of totems of undying.
Who is the first person an orphan sees? The doctor.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?
My dad went to get both and never came back.
What does the "f" stand for in orphan?
Family.
Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?
Because he didn't want plane.
