Worst Jokes Ever

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What do you call a terrible bus company?

Stagecoach Highlands.

What is the orphan's version of a family portrait?

A selfie.

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.

I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.

What do you call someone who subscribes to Toast4128 on YouTube?

A very good person.

What's funnier than a dead baby?

A dead baby in a clown suit.

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say "bitch" and "bastard." He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him surprised and said, "A bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say "ass" and "shit," so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean?" His dad says, "A shit is shaving cream like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom?" Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "fuck," so Johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean, mom?" She looks over at him and says, "Fuck means carving, like what I'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says, "Welcome bitch and bastard, may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask where his parents are. Johnny responds with, "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"