Worst Jokes Ever
Are you the Twin Towers? Because I'd smash.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
"I’m coming for you two!"
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
Yo mama so stupid, she ate the Apple phone you gave her.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
What did the mongol say to his dog?
Down syndrome!
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Trust.
Cannibals sucking each other's dick.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
What do pears and emo kids have in common?
They both be hanging.