Worst Jokes Ever

Why are vampires always sick?

Because they are coffin.

What do you call Hitler speeding?

The Fast and the Fuherous.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.

Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.

Teacher: What comes after C?

Me: Ooh! Ooh! C4!

Teacher: Umm, ok... but still what comes after A?

Me: AK47!!!

Teacher thought: Oh hell na.

Teacher: What comes after X?

Me: Xplosin.

1 second later, bomb goes off. Idk.

I rate the Twin Towers 9/11, very stable buildings.

I pushed a man in a wheelchair into a fire. Now we call him "hot wheels."

I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."

Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!

I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her elbows.

Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her on Halloween.

Yo mama so hairy, her knuckles have sideburns.

The Titanic is now a resort for fish.

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.