Worst Jokes Ever

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Why couldn't the orphan go on a school trip?

A parent's signature was required.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Roses are red, lemons are sour, spread your legs, give me an hour!

I screamed "Jenga" today when watching the 9/11 documentary.

The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Say, "Moommy."

You are fat.

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

"Do you want to hear a joke?"

"Yes."

"Okay, record yourself and then listen to it!"

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.

Your mom's so fat, she fell.

What do you call your mom?

Monkey.

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.