Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

My favorite novel is "The Hunchback of Notre Dame".

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

Why do orphans like pedos? Because it's someone that loves them and they can call "daddy."

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.

What is the difference between men and women?

Men have 2 heads, women have 4 lips because men do all the thinking, and women do all the talking.