Worst Jokes Ever
One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.
My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.
What is a disabled person's least favorite song?
"I'm Still Standing."
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
"Osama bin Laden playing MW2 Air Strike inbound."
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
What do you get when you put an ape's brain in a gorilla? A feminist!
How are feminists different from gorillas? At least gorillas don't abort their own children.
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
Purple.
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.