Worst Jokes Ever

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.

Why can’t orphans be criminals?

Because they’re not wanted!

Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?

They don't know what a house is.

When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.

Me, haha, I'm the joke.

Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!

Like, and comment if you're single.

What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?

Answer: Crimea River!

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

What do you call a rich Asian?

Cha-ching!

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

But why was 10 scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11!

Why are emos jealous of light?

The lights are hanging.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

What's black and long? A line at KFC.