Worst Jokes Ever
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
I have a fish that can breakdance, but only for 20 seconds and only once.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
I tried to adopt an orphan. The card got declined harder than the child did.
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.
On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."
So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
You smell!
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.
Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?
My suicidal friend said he liked trains, so we took him to the tracks.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Me, haha, I'm the joke.