Worst Jokes Ever

You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.

Why did the dog cross the road?

To get to the barking lot.

When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

I pushed a handicapped orphan out of his wheelchair. Who is he gonna tell, his parents?

I saw a kid on the curb. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at the orphanage!

What do you call somebody with no nose?

Can I pin your corpse to a tree?

My uncle is an alchemist.

He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.

Why are apples and orphans the same?

They always get picked on.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.