You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
I thought gender reveal parties were only for newborns, not for teenagers.
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.
Joe mama so fat, when she did the IShowSpeed dance, she fell five floors down.
Joe Mama's so fat, when she goes in the elevator, she has to go down.
Joe Mama so fat when she stepped on the sidewalk, I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Joe mama so fat, when she stepped on a scale it said "to be continued."
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?
Math riddle: If I have 12 bottles of wine in one hand, and 9 in the other, what do I have?
What can you catch, but not throw?
What do people use more than you that is yours?
If you’ve got me, you want to share me; if you share me, you haven’t kept me. What am I?
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?