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Three guys landed on a cannibal island. The cannibal chef told them if they wanted to live, they had to go get 10 of one fruit and bring it to him, and he would tell them what to do.

So the first guy brings 10 apples, and the chef said if he could shove all 10 of those in his ass without making a sound, he could live. He was three apples in and made a sound, and they ate him. The second guy brought grapes; nine grapes in, and he burst out laughing. The cannibals ate him. Then the first guy said, "Why'd you laugh? You were almost there!" The other guy who had the grapes said, "I couldn't help it, I was told the third guy came back with 10 pineapples."

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

Teacher: Ok class, I'm going to ask a question about your family.

Alex: Miss, my Dad died in 9/11.

Teacher: OH NO, I'M SO SORRY!

Alex: Don't worry miss. It was only Dad and besides, he did what he wanted before he died.

Teacher: What was that?

Alex: Flew the plane.

  • 5

    • Top ten dog breeds:

    10. Dogs

    9. Are

    8. Beautiful

    7. Animals

    6. And

    5. Judgement

    3. Is

    2. Cruel

    1. Dachshund

    Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?

    A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!

    People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

    Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

    Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.

    Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

    Bryce: What?

    Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

    P.S. I'm a girl.

    Who are the fastest readers in the world?

    9/11 victims of course, they went through 89 stories in only 5 minutes!

    Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.

    Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?

    Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.

    These nine kids were being bullied by these 10 guys in an alley. So, I thought I would help.

    It was 9/11 all over again.

    So, I met this girl and she was a 9 out of 10. I met this other girl who was 7 years old. The 7-year-old ate my 9 out of 10 girl because 7 was a psychopath.