3 jokes

Aunt

    • Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

    Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

    Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

    Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

  • 0

    • Equation

    • Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0

    Student: 69 gay = xxx

    Teacher: You're out!!!

    Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*

    😂😂😂😂

  • 0

    • Alphabet

    • One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.

    Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

    The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

    The end.

  • 5

    • Snap

    • They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

    Name

    • A father is talking to his three kids.

    Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

    Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

    Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

    Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

    Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

    Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

  • 2

    • Airplane

    • There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.

    Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"

  • 3

    • Roast

    • 1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

    2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

    3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

  • 8

    • Man

    • Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

  • 0

    • Titanic

    • My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha

  • 0

    • Girlfriend

    • One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

    But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

  • 0

    • School

    • This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

    1. Pencils

    2. Binders

    3. Paper

    4. Pencil sharpener.

    What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?