100s jokes

Sex

This is a lot like anal sex.

You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.

Teen

Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.

Condoms 99 percent effective.

Birth control 99 percent effective.

Etc.

Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)

Lambo

What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?

I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

Orphan

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

Memes

Baby

What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?

100 dead babies in a trash can.

What is worse than that?

There's a live one at the bottom.

What is worse than that?

It eats its way out.

What is worse than that?

It comes back for seconds.

Difference

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.

Grade

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

Victim

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Baby

What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?

The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.

Company

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Girlfriend

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Sex

What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.

Special needs

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Shopping List

McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:

cabbage _50

Carrots-50

Cooking fat -100

Onions_20

Tomato-20

salt-10

Total=250

She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.

McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.

His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."

Form

Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.