Friend: Why did you touch me?
Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.
Ur mama so fat she needs two watches because she's in different time zones.
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
Billy and Bobby were walking to school one day. Billy pulled out an mp3 player.
"What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just something to zone out the other kids," Billy responded.
The next day, Billy and Bobby were walking to school. Billy rummaged through his backpack and pulled out an mp4 player this time.
"Woah! What's that?" Bobby inquired.
"Oh, just a lil something to shut out the annoying kids at school," Billy responded.
The next day, Bobby noticed Billy's backpack was particularly heavy looking. Billy rummaged through his backpack just outside the school and pulled out an mp5 rifle.
"Holy shit, dude! What the fuck is that for?" Bobby gasped.
"Nice huh? This'll shut those fuckers up for good!" Billy replied.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.
Your hairline is so far back, it was in a different time zone on a flight with you.
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
Don’t you hate it when you are driving in a school zone, and the speedbump starts screaming?
Welcome to the Friend Zone! It’s lonely here.
An Asian walked up to another Asian that was crying.
He asked, "Is somting wong?"
The other guy says, "I was i a noh paking zon."
