Yours jokes

Insult

  • 1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.

  • 1
  • Abortion

  • The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"

    The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"

    The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"

    The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"

    The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"

  • 1
  • Yo mama

  • Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.

  • 3
  • Dislike

  • Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.

    Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.

    Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.

    Orphanage

  • Last night, I burned an orphanage. There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?"

    Son

  • Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.

    Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.

    ...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."

  • 0
  • Charade

  • Family are together playing charades.

    Me: "50 Shades of Grey!" Yes, I'm so good at charades! Put your shirt back on, Nan!

  • 0
  • Guy

  • A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "I'll give you a free drink if you can tell me a funny joke." So the guy replies, "A guy walks into a bar..."" The bartender says, "Just stop and take your fucking drink!"

    Double Standard

  • I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.

  • 0
  • Bee

  • According to all known laws of aviation,

    there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

    Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

    The bee, of course, flies anyway

    because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

    Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

    Barry! Breakfast is ready!

    Coming!

    Hang on a second.

    Hello?

    - Barry? - Adam?

    - Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

    Looking sharp.

    Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

    Sorry. I'm excited.

    Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

    A perfect report card, all B's.

    Very proud.

    Ma! I got a thing going here.

    - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

    - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

    Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

  • 6
  • Teacher

  • In the morning at 6:30 AM,

    Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

    Me: Trump & Biden.

    Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

    After school,

    Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

    "She looks at her clock."

    Teacher: And now I am sewed.