Yours jokes

Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.

Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.

A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.

If you have a friend that will not leave you alone about something, just simply tell them: "If you watch something, have you ever thought that you're in a movie when you watch a movie?"

What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?

Have a blood transfusion.

Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

I hate double standards.

Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Orange who?

Orange glad I didn’t say banana. Hahaha, you’re right, I hate that guy!

You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨

When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.