Yours jokes

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

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    • Hi guys! Ello here! So I am determined to get as many people as possible to like my jokes and comment. So, without further ado, here goes nothing!

    So I have been looking at all your jokes, and UHHHHHH has not been the nicest. I don't really love the words she is choosing, but I'm not going to let her get in my head. :)

    So guys make sure that you like and comment! Love y'all!!!!! :D

    In the morning at 6:30 AM,

    Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

    Me: Trump & Biden.

    Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

    After school,

    Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

    "She looks at her clock."

    Teacher: And now I am sewed.

    Wow, Aiden, maybe you've been mean to Tenya. She is hurting, close to killing herself, but hey, I can pick your ass since, ya know, that is what I do!

    This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!

    Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!

    http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone

    https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters

    You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!

    Teacher: Ok class, good morning. We are going to start off by asking what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says "moo moo."

    Teacher: Good!

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says "baa baaa."

    Teacher: Good! Now, what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall, you stupid mother fucker!"

    Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says, "moo moo."

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says, "baa baaa."

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says, "Put your hands up and get against the wall you black mother fucke*!"

    Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says mo mo.

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

    A man and his friend walk into a bar on a 30-story building and order a drink of beer. Then one of the men jumps out the window and he can fly, so he says to his mate, "Gary, take a sip of this drink, it makes you fly!" So Gary takes a sip of the drink, jumps out the window, and dies. And the bartender says, "Gee, Superman, you're a douche when you drink!"

    Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

    So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

    Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week. I picked the not so big businesses and places to do prank phone calls: Burger King, JCPenney's, and neighbors. I will tell you what I said.

    Me: "Hello, this is... Zariana and I am from New York." Burger King staff: "Well we work in Florida." Me: "Good, now I want a large cake with some salad... with some eggnog... and some baby food." Burger King: "We don't serve any of that, ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go, please!" Burger King staff: "Sorry ma'am, we don't ha-" And I hung up on him right before he could say "have." Now JCPenney's ordering.

    Me: "Hello, this is Trina from South Carolina." JCPenney's register: "Yes, what can I do for you, ma'am?" Me: "Excuse me?" JCPenney's register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with, ma'am." Me: "Sorry, I can't hear you... what!" JCPenney's register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, MA'AM?" Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" JCPenney's register: "Ma'am, can you hear correctly?" Me: "YES, I CAN... NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" JCPenney's register: "No ma'am, I was just saying tha-" Hung up.

    Next one was on my neighbors, Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you, but do you know what this word means: fhermkrekm?" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What, who is this?" Me: "Ummm... Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "So what does what word mean again?" Me: "fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on her now Mr. Morris.

    Me: "Hola Sr. Morris, que pasa?" Mr. Morris: "Sorry, what, I don't speak Spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used a translator app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait, but what does tha-"

    I bet you're wondering how I got these phone calls remembered, well I recorded them! I don't know how but I did. Btw not Spanish just learned really quickly.

    Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!

    Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.