Yours jokes
"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.
You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!
Anyone who makes orphan jokes... STOP! It's rude and not even funny. GET YOUR BUTT OFF THIS SITE IF YOU'RE GONNA BE RUDE!
Your mom.
Yours!
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
If you're reading this, then good, let's stop this hating on this site! We can just get along, or if not, then don't say anything at all! "Kiss."
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
Your mama is so fat, One Punch Man had to punch twice.
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"