Yours jokes

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.

  • 1

    • Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

    Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

    Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

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    • When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

    What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

    They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

    Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

    You: Yeah, but why so many people?

    Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

    You: Dude!!!!

    "What do you do with your free time?"

    "I stalk."

    "Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

    "I know."

    Parent: Have you seen your sister?

    Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

    Peter: *curses*

    Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

    Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

    Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

    Old soviet joke.

    "Who is your mother?" "Our great Soviet country." "Who is your father?" "Our dear comrade Stalin." "What's your greatest desire?" "Becoming an orphan."