Yours jokes

Yo, your hairline so messed up God said your hairline on the cross getting hit on that cross.

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

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  • A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

    "Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."

    - Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

    "Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

    - Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

    "If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

    -- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

    When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

    Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

    Friend B: Yes, why?

    Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

    Every like this gets, I will kill a telemarketer.

    Every dislike, I will kill a cute puppy.

    Every comment, I will kill your ex bf or gf and send you a PS5.

    You have two parts of [your] brain, "left" and "right". In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.

    Last week I went on a whale watch.

    After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.

    The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"

    The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"

    The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"

    The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"

    The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"

    Yo mama so fat that when she walked past the TV, you missed three episodes of your favorite show.