You're jokes
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
Slow and steady wins the race...
...but it will never fix your ugly face.
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
What color is your Bugatti?
So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
How do you know when you are dating a cannibal?
You go to the beach, he offers to put suntan oil on you, and the brand name is Wesson.
You are having sex and he says he wants to eat your a$$ and you notice he is holding a knife and fork.
He invites you to his home to use the hot tub and it is heated by a wood fire.
You are having an argument and you say "bite me" and he starts to sharpen his teeth.