You're jokes
Last Halloween, I went dressed as a woman. When I rang the doorbell, an elderly woman opened it, and I made a grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands.
She immediately called the police and told them exactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First, he asked if my parents were here, and I said nothing. Concerned by my answer, he then asked if I was okay, so I said nothing. He asked me what my name was, and I responded, "Hellen Keller."
Hi, what's your name?
I don't know, I'm disabled.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said "Damn!"
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
You. You're the joke.
Your mom.
The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Ieatmop. I eat mop who? Eww, you eat your poo?
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Roses are red, violets are blue, your penis smells like stew, and I want to eat it too.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.