You're jokes
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Roses are red, Foxes are orange, I like your butt, Let me touch it forever.
I look at your bro.
And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
Roses are red,
foxes are red,
I like your butt, let me touch it forever.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Bully: *Bullies kid*
Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*
Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD
Orphan: :/
A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.
But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.
“My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”
Pin drop silence in the class!
"Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
“Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”
If you're ever bored just fuck some orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?
Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!
Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!
Why is your mom ugly, bozo?
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?
Because I burnt it down!
What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?
They are both off the map.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.