Your dad

Your Dad Jokes

Deku: Hey, Todoroki?

Shoto: Wht?

Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?

Shoto: :)

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

One time I was watching TV.

Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!

Me: Omg, really?

Mom: Sike, I lied.

You take a plane from Australia your mom is American your dad is British and. Your brother (and you) is Canadian (well because they traveled along many places) you are eating dinner but you realized you were going to europe. You went sleepy and you forgot your pet named “Strallia”. But she could not go anyways so you had to leave her. When you went to europe you were in the “COUNTRY-SIDE”

A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

So, two kids argued and insulted each other.

KID 1: "Your dad left because he didn't want you, so why don't you kill yourself?"

KID 2: "Well, your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you."