It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
Deku: Hey, Todoroki?
Shoto: Wht?
Deku: I just found out on the news that your dad froze to death. Do you know who did it?
Shoto: :)
Imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
You were born out of your dad
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
You take a plane from Australia your mom is American your dad is British and. Your brother (and you) is Canadian (well because they traveled along many places) you are eating dinner but you realized you were going to europe. You went sleepy and you forgot your pet named “Strallia”. But she could not go anyways so you had to leave her. When you went to europe you were in the “COUNTRY-SIDE”
Never say to an orphan, "Bye buddy, hope you find your dad!"
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
Your dad So stupid that when he jumped Fence the gate is open
Boomerangs come back, But your dad never did
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
Best part about being an orphan?
Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
The difference between Your Dad and Cancer? Cancer came back....
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
