My Friend said having sex is alot like your first football game
Your bloody and bruised but at least your dad was there
Wanna hear a joke, your dad leaving you, you sad clown
At a orphans funeral you say your dad came back
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
one day, the milkman came to drop off milk. The boy asked the milkman, do you know where my dad is. The milkman replies, I am your dad, then runs off like batman
A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.
The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.
That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."
Kid: Dad where are you going
Dad: To get milk
TEN YEARS LATER
Kids friend: wheres your dad
Kid: he went to get milk but never came back
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
deku: hey todoroki? shoto: wht? deku: i just found out on the news that your dad froze to death do you know who did it? shoto: :)
imagine me being 12 feet taller than your dad
me: watching tv mom: omg no way your dad is coming me: really mom: obviously not he never loved or wanted you.
one time i was watching tv mom: omg your dad is coming! me:omg really mom: sike i lied
You were born out of your dad
You take a plane from Australia your mom is American your dad is British and. Your brother (and you) is Canadian (well because they traveled along many places) you are eating dinner but you realized you were going to europe. You went sleepy and you forgot your pet named “Strallia”. But she could not go anyways so you had to leave her. When you went to europe you were in the “COUNTRY-SIDE”
Never say to a orphan “ bye buddy hope you find your dad”
what's the difference between u your uncle your dad one didn't go in the closet
Your dad So stupid that when he jumped Fence the gate is open
Boomerangs come back, But your dad never did
A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”
WHY DO U CANT EAT CERAL
BECASUE YOUR DAD NEVER CAME BACK FROM GETTING THE MIK!!!
