You jokes
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."
Memes
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, "WHO THE F*** F***ED MY WIFE!" A man in the back responds, "YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!"
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
I'll always remember my dad's last words... "Why do you have an axe? We live in the city!"
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
Like it if you judge people's hairlines.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."
Are you depression? 'Cause you're always on my mind~