You jokes
Mom, I’m pregnant.
Are you drunk? Why? Because you’re boy.
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You be the 6, I'll be the 9. 😏
Did you know one of the singers of YMCA had AIDS? Y-M-C-AIDS.
Bob, why are you kicking the kids?
What, it's not like they have a home to go to.
Did you hear that the cameraman got arrested? He shot a film.
A guy walks up to a girl. He says, "Hey, you want a poker? I’ve got one."
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
How do you kidnap Stephen Hawking?
Shut off his computer.
Do you know what's lonely?
Your lips, wanna meet mine?
Why could you not hear the dinosaur clap? Because it's dead.
When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
What do you do to a pregnant lady on a step?
Push 'em.
You used to call me on your cellphone when you need my love.
Mad girl: SHUT UP! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING! I DON'T WANT TO CALL YOU ON MY CELL PHONE!
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?
A wet pebble.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait!