You Jokes

A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"

What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.

Are you a waterfall?

'Cause I'm falling for you.

If you play Minecraft too much, you belong to the streets.

Girl: You are gay.

Boy: Who says I’m gay?

Girl: You ARE GAY!

Boy: You are lesbian.

Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH

You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

Are you a train? Because I want you to run over me. :)

You were born on the highway. That's where most accidents happen.

What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.

You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?

Answer: Living.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

Ayo imagine having a chocolate fountain, but instead it cost a billion dollars a gallon and you have a hundred thousands, that number will never equate to how many porno magazines and alcoholic beverages and malty liquors stolen from my brother's bedroom as a desperate attempt at being edgy. Ayo, maybe instead of the future cars being powered by petroleum oil and gas, but with hot chocolate.

What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?

"Dang girl, you are so appealing!" 😙

Are you a knife? Because damn, I want you inside of me ;)

What do you call a eatable door?

- Coriander 😂

If someone calls you dirty minded just say:

"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."

Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?

Now he's a bronze fish.