You jokes
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
😐😑
Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.
Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!
Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!
Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" The bartender answers, "Mate, you ain't got enough bullets."
"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"
"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
When you still there?
When is the last time you picked up the phone?
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
What do you call an overly clingy child?
A tumor.
Fun fact! You can hold your breath till the rest of your life.
Prince, are you there?
"Prince, do you love the faker, Princess, or me, the real Gwen?"
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
Prince, I promise you that "qwen" girl you're chatting with is a faker! I am the real lover for you, not her. She's a stranger!
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
Prince, where are you? Please talk to me! I swear I love you!
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.