You jokes
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.
Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!