You jokes
Would you rather eat a brick or a matter baby?
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
A, B, C, E, F, G. You smell like a baby. Maybe you should not be "Hati-ey."
Bf: Hey, what ya doing?
Gf: Just lying in bed.
Bf: Just lying in bed?
Gf: And eating cereal.
Bf: Ha, nice, what would you do if I was in bed next to you...?
Gf: Eat my cereal.
Bf: I mean if the cereal wasn't there.
Gf: I'd get out of bed and get more cereal.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Brother: Your nuts!
Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Kid: Hi Mum!
Mum: Hi, Loser!
Kid: Why?
Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!
Kid: Waaaaaaa!
I know this is not funny, but who cares?
When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Did you know Hellen Keller had a doll house in her backyard? Neither did she.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
What did the window say to the door?
"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"
Get it?
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
Lil’ Johnny be dead, you fools!
So, I text my girlfriend and told her I wanted to get inside her. Can you believe she replied: "Not again brother, I'm only 8."