You jokes
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door.
What do you call an orphan?
An orphan.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Random guy: Do you know Dee?
Other dude: Who’s Dee?
Random guy: Dee Snuts!
Alex, you will never believe this!!!!!!!!!! Please respond as quick as possible! To my love, Alex!
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
I love you, Tina!
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
The fridge don't fart when you take your meat out.
To Drew the Devil,
We NEED to talk RN. I'm very mad at you, and we need to talk.
Angry Alex
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!