Have you heard of deez nuts?
You Jokes
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
How do you fit 3 gay guys on a barstool? Flip it upside down.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.
Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.
Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.
Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.
You're so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.
You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?
A knife has a point.
You're so ugly that everytime you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
Knock knock.
Fuck you!
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
"Yol, what do you think about sex?"
"Good."
