You jokes
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
Rape: The only crime where you have to tell the victim they couldn't do anything even if they could run or say something, then after, are told rapists stop them doing something about it.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
when is it normal to freeze before being raped?
when a policeman rapes you.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
My bestie: Are you dirty-minded?
Me: Do I have dirt in my mind? No.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
How do you say "Brazier" in German?
Stop 'em from floppin' (German accent)
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."