You jokes

Your mom went to the ocean, and the whales said, "We are family," even though you are fatter than me.

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

How do you know you are blessed by God?

You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?

Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.

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