You jokes
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.
Dad, I hate you!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.
What do you call a shocked Chinese man?
"Hu le fuk!"
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?
None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.
Somebody asks me: How many YT subs you got?
Me: More than you!
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
Roses are red. Violets are blue, when a sumo saw you, he peed his pants.
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
I have the biggest balls; you have wobbles.
The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."
You think you guys are funny, but look at your hairline. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol. 😂😂😂😂😭😭💀🤨🍆💦👶🏻😈😈😈😈😈😂😂😂😂😂😂👍😳😳😳😭😭😭😭😭😭🤨
I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."
Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.
A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.