You jokes
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
I said I’m losing my mind. My friend said, “You didn’t have much to begin with.”
I started a company making coffins. The slogan? 'We're dying to meet you.'
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
"Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too."