You jokes
Did you hear about the octopus who went emo? He sliced all 8 of his wrists.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What's Michael Jackson's favorite things to say to little boys? "I'd really love to see you-hoo-hoo tonight," and "I can't smile without you-hoo-hoo."
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
Bro, why are you making an avalanche by that big forehead? No wonder why snow was found on Mars.
You know how people say white men can’t jump? Well, you should check the 9/11 footage.
Man, this walk is really good. Oh wait, you can't.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.