You jokes
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
How did you get that? Used your life savings?
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...