You jokes
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Ni-tro-gen!
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
This is a lot like anal sex.
You always miss 100% of the shots if you don't take it.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?
Little Seizures.
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
Some people decide to start a blog.
Others decide to start a blog.
You know what my sink started?
A clog.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Sinocyclocheilus anophthalmus.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Q: What do you call an elephant that isn't important?
A: My sister.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.